But really, it didn’t mean anything. He probably didn’t even remember. Sarah had said "you should give him a call, maybe he just forgot". Maybe he doesn’t even remember who I am, I thought, maybe he doesn’t even care. We met him at this party in our neighbourhood. I had nothing to do at home so I just went, it was better than sitting at home watching television. Sarah was there too and when she saw me she said "hey, sailor! howz it goin!" and I knew she was drunk because she never talked like that. In fact, almost everyone was, and I didn’t usually drink so I was about to leave when she said "hey! wanna dance?" and pulled me across the lawn to where a few people were dancing. Sarah had been in love with me so I danced with her even though I didn’t want to. There was this slow tune playing but it soon ended and this dumb song called "It’s Raining Men" started to play. But nobody was really dancing; we were just fooling around, sort of just jumping up and down. That’s when she saw him. She just left me there in the middle of the yard and walked up to him and said "hey, wanna dance" just like she had said to me and I knew she was really drunk and she’d probably just make a fool of herself and I was mad at her for leaving me for him so I went after her and I was about to say to her Sarah, "let’s go home now", I had even placed a hand on her shoulder and that’s when I saw him. He knew but he said to Sarah "sure, I’ll dance". So he started dancing with her but he knew. heknewheknewheknew. I said to myself "stop it stop staring" but it was okay because everyone probably just thought I was looking out for Sarah. It was a good thing too though because just then Sarah barfed all over but he got out of the way and Sarah just barfed all over the floor but he knew. I went up to them and said "Sarah, are you ok?" because she was still hunched over with her hands on her knees but I tried to ignore him. I said to her: "I think you should sit down for a while". So we started talking while she sat, just about normal stuff like so, what school do you go to? and other stuff like that. We talked for quite a long time, pouring each other drinks, even though he was really drunk already and his arm brushed against mine a couple of times and I felt the tingle run right through my whole body but he pretended like he didn’t notice we just kept on talking and...

***

It was pretty late when we realized Sarah had gone home So he said "hey I’ll walk you home" and I thought we could kiss I thought I could kiss him right when we’re about to part and just the thought of it was enough.  And I thought well this must be the beginning of happiness this is where it all starts.  But he was so drunk though he kept falling and he said to me "hey you know I’m not usually this drunk honestly", I just smiled at him and then my house came and quickly before I thought about it I said "hey, do you wanna go out some time" and he looked at me with this big goofy smile grinning and everything and my heart was pounding so hard I didn’t know what he would say but he just kept smiling so I looked down and was about to go in when he bent over and kissed me on the lips.  Not like we were friends but like we were lovers.  I looked up at him and he was smiling his goofy smile and he said "sure I’ll come.  I’ll pick you up this Friday, okay?". I said "sure yeah fine great of course" and he just laughed and started off towards his house so I quickly ran in and didn’t sleep until dawn almost that morning.

***

He didn’t come. On Friday night I thought well, it’s okay everyone can be late once in a while and I sat on the couch waiting for him, trying to relax, waiting for the doorbell, making sure it worked. Waiting but pretending not to wait, turning the music on and off every once in a while and washing my face. And then going outside to sit on the porch later that night and realizing he wasn’t going to come.

***

The next day Sarah said "hey its okay he probably just forgot. You should go over and talk to him". I thought, I could go over and say "hey, do you remember me from the party that night? We were supposed to go out yesterday night? Remember?" Or I could just say "um, excuse me, but, really, I’m very much in love with you" and I smiled at the impossibility of it and thought what would happen if I just went over there and said "excuse me, I think I’m very much in love with you".