I think I might be bi and I need HELP!

Hi i am a 13 year old girl and i am having mixed feelings i like girls they are very pretty and sweet but yet i still like guys and its upsetting cause i think i may be bi i need HELP please get back to me as soon as possible thanks, Haley

Hillary Greer

Hi Haley,

Thanks for coming to Alterheros with your question! I understand that learning about yourself and discovering your sexuality can often be overwhelming and leave you wondering if you know yourself at all. As you grow up and get older you might question things about yourself and start to discover feelings that you didn’t know you were capable of having. I think it is important to continue to explore these feelings, so that you can understand yourself better.

I’m wondering what it is about possibly being bisexual that is upsetting for you? Are you scared of the reactions of other people? Are you worried about how it will affect your life? Are you upset because you’re confused about your sexual orientation? Remember that being bisexual, or homosexual, or straight is not a ‘way of life’ but simply a part of your life. If you are bisexual (or gay) this does not have to change or control your life in any way. You can still be you, just the way you are today. It changes who you love, not who you are. You might face challenges and have to overcome some obstacles, but so do most people for one reason or another.

Everything you are experiencing, feeling, and scared and confused about is normal. It might not always be fun or easy, but you aren’t alone. Depending on where you live, there might be youth groups (maybe at school, or at a community center) that help young people who are questioning themselves like you are. They are often confidential and free of judgement. I recommend you check out some of your local resources to see what is available to you, and try to get in touch with one of these groups. Having a support system around you, especially one of people who you know are experiencing the same thing as you are, is always helpful when you are going through challenging times.

In the meantime, maybe you should check out these books:

1. The full spectrum by David Levithan and Billy Merrell

2. GLBTQ: the survival guide for queer and questioning teens by Kelly Huegel

Good luck Haley! And please don’t hesitate to ask more questions!

Hillary, for Alterheros