Kelley R


About Kelley R

Kelley is currently in her last year at Concordia University, studying Psychology and Interdisciplinary Studies in Sexuality. For two years, she lived and worked in the university residence halls as a Resident Assistant where she played an active part in aiding the residents as they made the change from high school to university life. In high school, Kelley was a member of her school’s gay-straight alliance. She held the president role in her last year where she led meetings and organized events to foster the growth of a tolerant campus.

I’m interested in being apart of AlterHeros because I have a passion for helping others. I feel that it is important to have an online resource where people can come to with their questions and have them answered in a relatively private setting, especially for those who may face discrimination in their home setting for coming forward with these types of questions.


I feel more comfortable around women than men. Am I a lesbian?

How do I know if I'm straight and only feel threatened by men because of the experiences,I've seen, of other women at the hands of abusive men? How do I know if I'm genuinely attracted to women and not just because they are non-threatening? I'm a 25 year old female and have never been in a relationship. I've seen many abusive relationships between heterosexual couples, and the idea of being physically intimate with a man scares me. So each time someone expresses interest in me I shut them down. More recently, I've thought that I may be a lesbian because I'm more comfortable around women and spend more time with women than men. The only men that I feel comfortable with are men who have character traits typically associated with women and men that are openly gay. I am very close to my female friends and now feel self-aware when I'm with them because of the possibility of being attracted to them. Is there any way to know if I'm straight, a lesbian or bisexual?


Can I be a transwoman and a tomboy ?

Hi I am biologically male but have gender issues and confusion. All my life I felt something was "off" and felt very alienated and most of the time hated myself. I managed to come by though, I presented as a guy as much as I could, despite constantly second guessing my actions ("I wonder if I'm considered male enough if I do this?"). Despite liking girls I've always been a bit confused about my sexuality. Even though I jokingly identified myself as a lesbian female for a long part of my life, I realize now how true these feelings are. I've never shown blatant transsexuality, I've never put make-up on, I've never dressed except in private (shamefully)... I used my penis normally. So I'm really confused if I can still be transsexual but not like makeup or feminine clothes like all the classic cases... it wouldn't be "me"... In the correct life for me, I'd have been a tomboy femme lesbian. I really HATE being male now, and I'm getting more and more depressed, almost suicidal :(


I’m afraid my boyfriend will act out his fantasies.

Hi. I have been in a relationship with my BF for 2 yrs and in the last year have discovered his desire for trannies. (women with penises) He's been watching tranny porn for 8 yrs. and also watches hetero porn, and bdsm porn. (we also have BDSM scenes where I'm the Domme and usually have a strap-on on; which I of course love) I for some reason am uncomfortable with his tranny desires. I think I feel threatened by them and fear I will lose him to a tranny if he acted on his urges/fantasies (which I believe he wants to) We have discussed this and he claims to desire the taboo and doesn't need to act on it. I want to know if I should just let him find a tranny to put his fantasies to reality or just leave it behind a screen? I fear that he will want to act on it eventually anyway but if he does I will want to leave. He also claims he is not bi, but would like a 3some w another guy where he would be "forced" by me to suck the guy off. That sounds bi. Does it mean he is?What do you adv



I get more excited about women, but would prefer to have a boyfriend

About a year ago, I began to be attracted to gay men, in looks and stereotypical personalities, and watching them "do stuff" turns me on. I became sort of obsessed with the gay community and started watching logo, reading gay books, etc, and standing up for gay rights whenever it's mentioned. I thought I was a little weird, but still considered myself straight, just something of a "fag-hag". But, lately, I've found myself more attracted to women than guys. When I think of women, I tend to get more excited than I do with men, but I like the idea of a bf more than a gf. I feel like a total hypocrite saying this, but I'm terrified of the thought that I might be a lesbian. I've always hidden my "gay obsession" from my dad because I know how he'd react, but my mom knows and she asked me once if I was a lesbian and I gave her a definite "no". I feel like I'd be betraying her if I decided I was. I'm very shy and have never had a boyfriend, crush, or male friend since I was 7. What do (...)


Can I be labeled a girl or a boy or something in between?

Lately I've wondered if I would be happier as a boy. I don't hate my female body parts, I don't mind my breasts, though I think they look better in other people. I don't feel "trapped in the wrong body", but it isn't right either. I also have trouble with my sexuality, I am not turned on by anything but male gay porn, and feminine men. I am not boyish at all, and like feminine clothes, all except skirts. Am I transgendered? Should I be a boy? I don't think I would be a "boy", as in the stereotypical type, I am much more like a girl in that way. But sometimes I wish I was a gay boy. I wish people would ask me: "Elisa, what would have happened if you were born a boy?" I only have female friends, I am comfortable around them, and not attracted to them, I hate having periods, and I envy boys in some ways, yet I can tell women have it better in others. Can I be labeled as "girl" or "boy"? Am I something in between? Help, please!


How do I reconcile my queer alliance while converting to Islam?

I am dating a muslim man and have a gay dad. I was raised as an Ally and can't see myself ever turning my back to the people who raised me. Nor would my boyfriend want me too. However, he could also never turn his back to his family, which would mean he could not marry me unless I converted. For quite some time now I have looked into Islam and I truly fell in love with it, but I cannot seem to be able to make my love for Islam and my loyalty to the queer community work together. Is there any Imam out there that I could contact to find answers to my questions?



I cheated with a girl. He took me back but am I bi? Lesbian?

Hi, My name is Laura, I'm from Peru. I have a relationship with a boy for about 10 months and lately i cheated him with a girl because i wanted to experiment things with girls,(i told him about that girl that i cheated on, and he said we can get over that so we are still together) i really liked it a lot, but I'm not quite sure if i'm a lesbian? Or am i a bisexual? I told my boyfriend I was a lesbian because i can't stop thinking on girls, and i don't feel the same feeling for boys, and he totally got very sad but he didn't want to break our relationship, neither do i, but i feel atracted to girls. Additional to this, my boyfriend is a little afeminated so i guess when we are in bed i always look at him as a girl, is this normal? Am I a lesbian or a Bi? Thank you for reading my question and I would be really thank you if you reply the soon as possible.


Is she just being nice to me? I’m sure she’s straight but she’s driving me crazy!

Hello, i just wanted to, well explain my problem becaume i have no one really to tell - scared of hatred of rejection. Im straight, and always have been, until this girl came into year 10, and ever since i'v been confused! Shes popular, pretty and basically a bad rebel. Shes obviously straight but its just the things she sometimes do that makes me wonder, she makes me so nervous as well. Every science she walks dead close to me when theres loads of space around her, i see her sometimes watching me in that lesson too. Past english she put her hands around my waist to get past, but she wouldnt, definitely wouldnt do that to other people. i've hardly ever spoken to her yet she drives me insane with this confusion! i try to convince myself she may like me a little, but when i see myself and her friends, i think, why would she like me out of all her pretty friends? maybe shes just being nice to me? Thank you, chloe.


I fantasize about women during foreplay with my boyfriend

hi. i am in a happy relationship with my boyfriend who i've been with for a year, we are talking about getting engaged sometime in the near future. i have always fantasized about other woman but never actually did anything sexual with a woman,when my boyfriend and i are having sex i never think of other woman but when he is doing any other foreplay i do, i've done it with other boyfriend and it hasn't really bothered me, but last night i started to feel guilty about it. then i started questioning everything about my sexuality. i do not want a relationship with another woman, i want to be with my boyfriend, and eventually get married to , so why do i have to fantasize?. can i also point out i have never orgasmed during sex, only foreplay allows me to do this, which i'm happy with.