Philip Borden


About Philip Borden

Philip holds a baccalaureate in philosophy.

I enjoyed being involved with "Tell the experts" because I was looking for a way to help queer youth and I really enjoyed answering most of the questions so far. I feel I’m good at it and it feels good to help with people’s problems.


I can’t stop making lesbian jokes to my friend who hurt me

I've been knowing this girl for like.a year who's now my best friend.. I could tell when I first meet her that she was confused about something.. we got close to each other kissed all the time, touchyfeely or whatever.. later had a sexual experience that she stopped that same day.. I told her.. that no matter what I would always be a friend and now where best friends... she became more open to me about everything.. telling me I'm the first and only guy she's ever been with. but she's scared to be with me because she done wanna running our friendship... but that's not the point... come to find out her last two years of high school she had a girl friend.. yep she was a lesbian.. I was so confused as to the way we were together.. now it's none of that we just hang out with each other and I can't help but make lesbian jokes to her about it.. cuz I'm hurt.. I tell her it hurts.. because I was patient and in the end all I got was a best friend.. but I still feel the same way.. help me.


He reacted well when I came out, but I still don’t know if he likes me romantically

Hi, and first of all I must say that you helped me the first time! ;) But now I have another prob! Long story short, I told my male friend that I like him and that I feel something more,I was ready for the worst and I even told him "If you don't want to see me ever again I'll leave you forever,I understand how u feel" (I cried bc I was afraid), and he responded on this "I would be a complete douchebag if I'd do something like that! I am never going to leave you alone"...Honestly I was shocked, so I repeated "I'll give you some time to..." "No, no, I don't have to think about it, I said it"...After, he told me that its courageous from me to tell him how I feel and that I should tell more people coz its bad to keep all in me. Idk, I'm now more confused! I don't know what are his feelings,"never going to leave me?!" I think that he is afraid of relationships, and maybe he needs some time, but still... Please help me! And now when he knows the truth,I think I love him and need him even more.


I don’t want to make the same mistake twice !

I have a crush on one of my female friends. She knows I'm gay, I do not what her orientation is. Every time someone else asks her who she likes, or if she's ever liked anyone, she always avoids the question. But like I said, I really like her. I'm wondering whether to tell her or not. Last year, i was in something of the same position, and the other girl freaked when I told her. I DO NOT want to make the same mistake twice. Last year hurt like anything. The other problem is that we're both in the same tight group of friends, and I have a feeling telling her, if the feelings were not mutual, would screw up the whole group. (It would cause a lot of incredibly awkward situations at best.) Do I tell her? If anything, is there a way to inquire her own sexual orientation without being terribly blunt? Friggin' middle school drama.



I don’t want to keep being everyone’s poster-boy

So, I have been really confused about what I want in terms of my gender identity. When I look in the mirror I don't want to see "handsome" or anything male about myself. I really enjoy being a guy and I know this because I couldn't imagine life without my penis. I'm guessing you can call me genderqueer or androgynous, but how do I know if this is what I really want? I've already taken steps to look more female. I do my eyebrows, shave my body, wear makeup, and now I'm letting my hair grow. I feel really confident but my ultimate goal would be to pass as an actual girl from the face. My mom and dad are not giving me their approval anytime soon - I've done so much to be everyone's "poster child", and now I just want to break free from the boy everyone thinks I am. Any advice?


I like feminine men and I’m not sure about my sexual and gender identity.

Since I was about ten, I've wished I was born male. In the last couple of years that desire has got very strong. In any sexual fantasies and when I masturbate I always pretend I'm a guy. I feel strongly attracted to extremely feminine men, cross-dressers and guys who wear makeup etc. Sometimes I pretend I'm a guy on chatrooms and flirt a little with girls. Because of all this I considered that I might be a lesbian, but I don't feel anywhere near the attraction towards girls as I do towards males. I never look at a girl and think they are hot or sexy. Straight and lesbian porn doesn't really do anything for me; only some of the gay and "shemale" stuff. I love men who look and act like women. All these signs seem to be really contradicting and I'm so confused about both my sexuality (though I think I am probably straight) and especially my gender identity. It's a big part of what's been making me very depressed these last few months.


I reject the male label but am I transsexual?

I've been having many questions about my gender identity and I was hoping for your team's opinion (Obviously, I should talk to an actual therapist too). Even since the beginning of high school (I'm in my first year of college) I've become increasingly feminine, from growing my hair out, to wearing eyeliner and colorful nail polish, even wearing female clothing because I liked the look and feel in a non-erotic way, and I enjoy a more girlish nature. I've never hated my gender, and I always enjoyed boyish games at a young age. In fact it wasn't until the beginning of high school that I had showed signs. I did not know of transsexualism then, but I went through a period where I rejected the label male. I think that it's more than possible that I'm transsexual, but that I reject it because I'm deeply in love with a girl. Is it possible that I'm transsexual? If so, is it possible that I'm holding myself back for the reason stated and that it might be sorted out if I talk to her?



I have a hard time knowing if this guy is flirting or not.

I like this guy I who works at a coffee shop, the first time I met him I think he caught me checking him out. A few days later he initiated a conversation and we have been talking casually since. Today I touched his tattoo and rubbed my finger gently on his arm and asked him to come hang out with me when he gets off work. we talked for a little while and we exchanged numbers. But I'm not really sure if he is gay and if he is attracted to me either, I have a hard time telling if a guy is gay or if he is flirting with me. What must I do?


Did sexual abuse make me gay?

I'm a lesbian, and a while ago I worked up the courage to tell one of my closest friends. She's religious, so I wasn't sure how she'd take it. Her response was " is this because of that stuff with your uncle?" I should explain-when I was young I was sexually abused by my uncle. Is that possible?


Do my dreams mean I am bi?

I'm a 16 year old girl. I've always thought that i was 100% straight but now I'm not so sure. I keep having these dream occasionally about girls. It never goes a lot further than kissing but I'm still really confused. Its usually a girl that I think is really pretty or an upperclassman that I admire in a way. I'm really confused because my last dream was about a girl on my school track team[which is pretty small], and now when i go to practice, i see her and feel weird. I don't know what to say to her and all I can think about is the dream. It is like on a projector in my mind and plays continuously. The team is pretty close though, so its not like i can just avoid her. How should i handle this situation? Do these dreams mean that I'm bi? I'm also kind of scared because if I am i don't know how to deal with it if I somehow am... I don't think my family would really get it and I'd be wicked scared to tell my friends. Help Please! I'm not sure how to deal...