Rimma Orenman


About Rimma Orenman

She has a B.A. in Anthropology, an M.D.C.M. degree from McGill, and has started her psychiatry residency, also at McGill, in 2008.


I have a crush on my work colleague who flirts but is already seeing someone.

HI. I have always been dating guys, but somehow I find myself attracted to girls. I think I might be bi. Anyways, there is this girl i just started working with, i didn't like her at first, but all of a sudden something changed in me and now i have a huge crush on her! She even flirts with me a little. She told me she was dating someone, but I just want to know if she could be interested in me. She even calls me babe a few times. IS she bi or just being flirty?


Why can’t I have an orgasm without disturbing fantasies?

I know that it's normal to fantasize about things you wouldn't actually want in real life, but what if these fantasizes are seemingly the only way I can have an orgasm? It's getting in the way of having an orgasm any other way, such as with my girlfriend. To get off, it's like I have to shut everything else out and focus on the fantasy. Tuning into her just doesn't seem to work. And it's not just her. It's everyone else I've ever been with, and it's not from lack of attraction to my sex partners. These fantasies are what I would consider abhorrent otherwise and I can't help but think to myself WHYYY does this do it for me? These fantasies typically involve gang rape by men and extreme humiliation (me being the object of it). And I'm a lesbian! It's ruining my ability to have sexual intimacy with my girlfriend What should I do? My girlfriend is really down on herself because she can't give me an orgasm... Does this require professional help? I CAN'T tell my girlfriend.




How could I not know i was transgendered all this time? Am I? Or is it just a fantasy I have?

I've started having doubts about my gender identity-but I'm not sure if I'm transgendered coz I didn't grow up thinking I was "in the wrong body". These feelings have slowly gotten stronger, I don't think they just came out of nowhere. Sometimes I feel "genderless" and other times I feel I would rather be male. I hate my female parts-I think they're disgusting. I hate my breasts. I'm not sure if I would want a penis-but i often fantasize about having one and having sex with a woman. I like to wear clothes that make me look more masculine, and sometimes when I'm alone I stuff my underwear and pretend I'm a guy. But I still look and act feminine(at least that's what other people say). I hate being a girl and feel I would be happier and more confident as a guy. I am so confused, what's wrong with me? How can I be transgendered, wouldn't that be something I would have always known? Is this just some weird fantasy/fetish I have? What's going on with me?


MY hormones! AH! I don’t want a label, but where do I fit in?

Can you change your sexuality? Lately, I've been really really confused. I'm not sure what to consider the feelings i have. I think I'm bi because I like girls, and have had successful relationships with them, but I also fantasize about men. Sometimes I think more about men than I think about women. Then most recently I got to a point when I was almost convinced I was gay because I would check out one of my attractive male friends and have sexual fantasies about him. At the same time at school, I had a crush on a girl. I know my hormones are ridiculously crazy, but all these feelings have left me at a point in my life where I just want to be straight. I will admit that part of the reason is because i analyze media and straight is the way to go, but if my memory serves me correct, I liked girls since 5th grade and not until 7th grade did I become interested in boys. So finally, Do I just let my hormones do whatever they want? I don't want a label, I just don't want to be confused any more.


I had a traumatic experience with a man. Now I am scared to be Muslim AND gay.

Hey! I've been put through so many difficult times in my teenage years. Even though i'm still a teenager, I feel as though i've lost my true identity. I am a Muslim and i'm very proud to be, even though the world has degraded my religion in many terrorist aspects. I'm very close to my religion and don't want to lose it. But two years ago *when i was 16* I had a secret boyfriend, to which he was 20 at the time. He took advantage of me in all sexual aspects and basically destroyed my mental and physical wellbeing. I ended up telling my parents as i collapsed one night from everything that he did to me. I eventually exposed the truth of me being 'gay'. Ever since then my family has tried to convince me that i am not. I've even lied about the truth to them saying that 'i was young and dumb and i've moved on', only to get them off my back. I am attracted to men, and only value women as 'friends'. I'm seriously scared. I pray to God that he will assist me through this. But hope is fading.



Followup about the crush I have on my old teacher

Dear, Rimma ! First of all thanks a billion for your wonderful and meaningful answer. Is was so worthful and touching. Regarding your queries about me. Here are some details about it: Well, Nobody knows in my family about my attraction towards male, only my best friend( who is of same age and straight) knows about this, but he never supports me and thinks that I'm a kind of mentally patient and I need a doctor. Another thing is I don't know any gay person in my home town nor any came out yet. Reading reaction of my family when they find their only son is gay or bi may put them in jeopardy or say my parents will collapse so i cant come out. When i was in 8th grade he was teaching me, now he is no more my teacher. The thing which attracts me towards him is, personality and nature. the only inappropriate thing he had done with me was, pinching me on my stomach and try to rube my body. He was behaving rudely with me, but now a days we are living in different towns so i cant meet him.


Should I kill myself if my teacher reacts badly to my love for him?

Hi ! There ! I'm 23 year boy. From my childhood I attracted from both the genders(male,female) and I had relations with some girls and guys too. But now a days I'm more attracted towards males than girls. I'm loving my school teacher who is 40+. From my schoolhood I'm attracted towards him, now the situation is very worse, I couldn't concentrate on any other thing other than him and going to mad, because I cant forget him and can not live without him ! should I say him that I'm a GAY and fall in love with him directly or should I KILL myself ???