Dear Alanna,

Thanks for your question! You seem to be grappling with a few different issues (sexuality, gender identity, and labelling), and I’ll try to respond to each of them.

As I’m sure you know, there is a difference between one’s sexuality (who you are attracted to) and one’s gender identity (the gender you feel you are, whether or not it matches the gender you were assigned at birth). For many people who are questioning or examining their gender identity, it can be difficult to pinpoint sexuality. For example, someone who was born female and is attracted to females, but identifies as male, could identify as a whole variety of things, from heterosexual female-to-male transsexual to butch dyke. Often, as people figure out their gender identity, their sexual orientation seems to change. In the example I gave before, that same FTM who was attracted to females might find himself attracted to males later on. Part of this is due to labels and the rigid “boxes” (or tables as you called them) people are supposed to fit into.

Pansexual is a wonderfully fluid label, that doesn’t come with a box. Pansexual is usually defined as someone who is attracted to a spectrum of genders, acknowledging that there are more than two (male and female) genders. It does not mean one has to have equal attraction to everyone on the gender spectrum. Since you said that you are attracted “mostly to females and everything else in between, more than males,” pansexual could very well be your label, if you choose it. And “choice” is key with labels. You get to decide what adjectives are used to describe you. You also have the choice to shrug off labels all together. It’s your call. A lot of people who don’t know which label fits, and don’t want to be tightly defined, also use the term “queer” as it is an umbrella term, all encompassing, of everyone who isn’t 100% heterosexual.

As for gender… There are an increasing number of people who are defining themselves as outside the “two” genders. Sometimes people choose to transition fully, or transition partially, or not at all. Other people choose to live somewhere in between genders, or embracing both/multiple genders. These people are sometimes referred to as “genderqueer,” but there are almost as many “alternate gender” labels as there are people who identify this way! (Other labels for female-born people include transdyke, trannyboy, boi, bigendered, omnigendered, pangendered…)

I’m not sure where you live in BC, but there are a lot of resources for queer and questioning youth on the west coast. Below is a list of the services you can access whether you live in the Lower Mainland, on the Island, or elsewhere in the province.

Good luck, and I hope this helps!

Benjamin

BC Resources:

Gab Youth Services (Vancouver)

http://www.lgtbcentrevancouver.com/Gab%20Youth.htm

Transgender Health Program (This is actually a provincial resource, not just Vancouver… and they can tell you about the Trans Youth Drop-in for trans youth and their allies)

http://www.vch.ca/transhealth/

Gay-Straight Alliances

http://www.galebc.org/gsa.htm

Youthquest (Lower Mainland, and around the province)

http://youthquest.bc.ca/

Victoria Youth Pride Society – (250) 472-4393

SEXY (Victoria)

http://www.avi.org/node/view/897