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18 October 2007

My girlfriend's family doesn't want her to go out with a girl

Hi,
I think I got a problem. Well, I love a girl and she is my sister’s friend and she love’s me but the thing is her mom – she kind of found out what was going on and she does not want her daughter to be with a girl. I just fell like dumping her even if it has only been 2-3 days that we did made are relation official – and that’s because of her mom. I don’t want to be causing trouble in her family. My girlfriend knows that I am an alcoholic and she accept that fact, but I know myself and if her brother make her feel guilty I will go drunk to see him and do something to him. I don’t know what to do because of her family. I am ready for that. Please HELP ME before I get crazy. She is like 16 and me 19.

Équipe -Pose ta question!-

Hi,

Thank you for sending your question to AlterHeros. I think you are asking about what to do when you’re girlfriend’s parents do not accept her choice to date a girl. You aren’t sure if you want to still date her and you are worried your relationship will cause havoc in her family.

First of all, you have to talk to your girlfriend about this. This may be her first or one of her first relationships. But whether she comes out to her family is entirely her decision. Not everyone comes out. Some people will never be out at work, or to their grandparents. Some people never come out even to the closet at all! Everyone will come out as far as they are comfortable and it may take years between stages. It sounds like your girlfriend is out to her family but they have not accepted it yet. This might make things difficult, especially since your girlfriend is a minor. Her mother may forbid her from going to your house or ask her not to hold your hand in public. You need to find out what restrictions her family is going to impose on her and whether your girlfriend is willing to risk the relationship that she has with her family in order to date you. You also need to decide for yourself if you are willing to date someone who might not be out to everyone. And most importantly, you need to talk to your girlfriend about all this; after all it’s her family in question.

Good luck,

AlterHeros

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