Hello Jorge,

Thank you for your question. If I understand correctly, you are currently in the process of exploring different forms of sexuality and trying to better understand your sexual orientation.

First, I’d like to reassure you that these explorations are completely normal in adolescence and young adulthood, and even later on in life for some people.

Sexual orientation comes in many flavors. There is tremendous diversity — that’s why the rainbow is such a prominent symbol. People are not either gay or straight. Rather, some people feel quite clearly attracted to the opposite gender, and others to the same gender, and then there are many many people who are mostly attracted to one and sometimes to the other, or half-and-half….

So I think that your feeling sexually aroused by men in some situations and by women in other situations is very normal. When you say you have «emotional feelings» for women, do you mean that you feel more comfortable with women in close friendships? Try to think, or even maybe write down in a journal, the kinds of feelings you have for men and women and in what situations. How these feelings depend on the person’s personality, physical type, and their relationship to you. You may feel comfortable discussing some of these feelings in certain forums (see https://alterheros.com/english/network/), or even in a diversity club at your school or college.

Your exploration may take time and it may not always be easy. But it will certainly bring you, in the end, to a place where you feel comfortable with yourself. The important thing is to stay surrounded by supportive family and friends, and seek professional support, e.g. from a counsellor at work or school, when you feel overwhelmed.

Thanks for your question and please do write again if you have any others.

Rimma, for AlterHeros.