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My friend still leads me on after she said she doesn’t like me that way

Question asked by Stephanie (16 years old questioning woman from Canada, Canada)

Question answered on March 31, 2010 by

Sorted in Friendship, Questions, Outing

I wrote in earlier about how I like my friend that is a girl, and how she was giving mixed signals. You advised me to talk to her and I did. It sucked. Every reason I gave to her about leading me on, she shut down. I asked why would she say that she gets excited when I text her, and she said she does with all her friends. I asked why she would be afraid of losing me, and she said because I’m a friend. Every answer was “you’re my friend”. That was 2 months ago. Now we’re good but she’s confusing me again. We were discussing hugging which we’ve never done, and I asked how she would like me to. She said as tight and as close as I want, as long as it lasts forever. When I asked what she meant, she said we could stand there all day holding each other and nothing else would matter. Then one day we said what we liked about each other, and she told me I had a nice body but “not in a weird way”, pretty eyes that she gets lost looking into, and I’m so sweet. What does she want from me?

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Kay holds a master degree in sexology. She has also been involved in public speaking to youth on fighting homophobia in schools, as well as working with youth living with HIV. Kay volunteers also for CAEO Québec (Gay Line, Gay Online and SILK).

Since I joined the AlterHéros team, I have greatly enjoyed my time as an “Tell the expert” expert. Not only do I enjoy writing up tid bits of advice to inquiring minds, I feel that I have gained a lot from hearing about the problems and inquiries of individuals from all different walks of life. This has afforded me to think outside the box, outside of my own context and to expand my understanding of people, sexuality and a wide range of other subjects. This monthly challenge has benefited me in many ways and I have always appreciated how easily it fits in to my schedule. Not only that, but the staff have always been friendly and flexible concerning my needs.

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