My husband is trans – I feel like he was dishonest from the start

Question asked by Marie (51 years old heterosexual woman from United States of America, United States of America)

Question answered on 16 April 2010 by

Sorted in Questions, Transition, Transsexuality

My husband of 29 years announced today that he wanted to start taking hormones. That he would grow small breasts and his voice would change a bit. That he would have to have his penis removed—as it would shrivel up because of the hormones. First of all—is that true? I am at a loss. I only knew that he liked on ocasion to wear women’s shoes—when we got married. It has escalated from there. He has has several affairs—he says only mentally—but I am not certain. I have tried to give him the benefit of the doubt—but I am not comfortable with his recent announcement. I do not wish to live as a lesbian—first of all because I have wishes and desires that will not be met. Also if my job gets wind of this—they will look for anything possible to get rid of me. There has really been no discussion of this—he refuses. He says that it is totally his decision and he does not care what I have to say or think about it. I feel like he was not honest with me from the start…

Profile Photo


Kelley is currently in her last year at Concordia University, studying Psychology and Interdisciplinary Studies in Sexuality. For two years, she lived and worked in the university residence halls as a Resident Assistant where she played an active part in aiding the residents as they made the change from high school to university life. In high school, Kelley was a member of her school’s gay-straight alliance. She held the president role in her last year where she led meetings and organized events to foster the growth of a tolerant campus.

I’m interested in being apart of AlterHeros because I have a passion for helping others. I feel that it is important to have an online resource where people can come to with their questions and have them answered in a relatively private setting, especially for those who may face discrimination in their home setting for coming forward with these types of questions.

Posez votre question

If you have a question about sexual orientation, gender identity or sexuality, ask our team at Tell-the-experts. Our outreach team is composed of multidisciplinary professionals, such sexologists, psychologists, social workers, doctors, nurses and community workers.

Please choose between the two types of services that we offer: standard or express.

Standard service

  • Question addressed by a qualified professional
  • Delay of answer varies between 7 to 30 days
  • Possibility to be refered to previously asked questions
  • Free

We are sorry but the standard service is currently offline.

Express service

  • Personalised answer by a qualified professional
  • Delay of answer of 72 hours guaranteed
  • $30 CDN per question-answer
  • Accepted payments: Accepted payments: Paypal and credit cards

We are sorry but the Express service is currently offline.

Skip to toolbar