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How can I be in a relationship with a man if I don’t find him sexually attractive?

Question asked by Emily (16 years old questioning woman from United Kingdom (Great Britain), United Kingdom (Great Britain))

Question answered on July 7, 2010 by

Sorted in Bisexuality, En questionnement, Questions

Hello
For all of my life, I have always been attracted to males emotionally and romantically, and have never once thought about being with a woman in that way. However since the age of 11, I have found women very sexually attractive, and only found men sexually attractive in a minor way. So I guess you could say that I am sexually attracted to women, but emotionally attracted to men. This situation is confusing me a lot, and I really do not know what I am going to do in the future. How can I be in a relationship with any man if I do not find them sexually attractive? I know that I am not trying to kid myself about being emotionally attracted to men, I really do love them. At the moment a boy and I are having very strong romantic feelings towards each other, however when the subject of sex comes up it gets awkward. I have a very strong connection with this boy, and the thought of not being able to be with him because of this makes me really upset. Any help is appreciated greatly.

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About

Sue has been a volunteer in the Queer HIV+ community, and studied Sociology and Communications. She received her PhD in 2003 and has pondered gender issues for long.

I'm interested in the psyche and offering advice to those who feel stuck or face dilemmas in their coming out.

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