Hi Filipe!

Thank you very much for writing in to us at Alterheros. You write that becoming aroused after mistakenly seeing gay porn has caused you to question your sexuality, despite the fact that you are attracted to and have been in love with girls. Your question is not uncommon among young people–most will question their orientation at least once in their lives. We are so often preoccupied with labels. I would suggest that these labels are not as important as they may seem to most people. However, for some individuals, it is important to their identity to group themselves with others who share common ideas or are in some way or another similar to themselves.

Let’s consider the label “gay”: though it may apply to the community as a whole, I believe you are intending the term to indicate specifically male-male relationships. Though the definition may vary slightly for some, the term almost exclusively refers to men who seek sexual and/or emotional relationships with other males. In this case, the label does not seem to conform to your particular situation, but ultimately what you choose to label (or not label) yourself is up to you.

As far as being aroused by gay porn is concerned, keep in mind it’s the whole purpose of porn to arouse! So it’s not bizarre to feel sexual excitement after seeing erotica of any kind, straight, gay or otherwise, and in any media, video, literature, pictures. Erotica as a whole includes any content that is meant to titillate, and tastes are as unique and varied as each person. Some people are excited by pornography specifically when it represents something that they may never experience themselves, so feel free to experiment with what interests you without feeling badly about it!

Kate, for Alterheros