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I am wondering if my teacher has a crush on me…
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I am wondering if my teacher has a crush on me…

Question asked by Diane (16 woman, United States of America)

Question answered on March 18, 2012 by

Sorted in High-school, Questions

Hi!
I’m Diane and I’m 17 years old. Three years ago I met a PE teacher and since then we became very close friends. She is not my teacher now but I think I have feelings for her. We always talk on the phone or get to see each other twice a month. She’s going through a lot so when we’re together she always tells me that I’m the one who gives her strength and hope to go on. The thing is that I’ve caught her many times staring at me in school (we’re still in the same school) and she usually tells me things like ”I’ve been thinking about you”. The question is: Does this mean she has feelings for me too or she has a crush on me? (I forgot to tell you that she doesn’t get on with her husband very well -I don’t know if this helps-)
I’d really appreciate your help.

Thanks for reading!

Hi Diane,

Thanks for writing to AlterHeros.  You are wondering if your teacher might have a crush on you, because she is staring at you and telling you compliments.  Schools are sometimes like little universes in themselves, and a lot of things can happen there – love, conflicts, friendships, etc.  But one thing is for sure : it is explicitely forbidden for teachers to have intimate relationship with their students (sexual relationship or love), and in a lot of places, that rules applies for several years after the direct teaching is finished.

Why are those rules there ? It is mostly because it is generally considered that a teacher is in a position of authority towards his or her students, therefore, not being in a position to have an equal relationship.

So what to do now ? It is never easy to let go the feelings that you are having for that person, but it is the best thing to do.  You can try to develop your network or do other activities to meet various people.  It doesn’t mean that you cannot keep contact or friendship with your ex-teacher, simply that it is not possible for you two to take it forward.

Good luck !

François, for AlterHeros.

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Impliqué au sein d’AlterHéros depuis 2004, François fait partie du conseil d’administration depuis 2005, à titre de vice-président puis de directeur de l’intervention. Il occupe ce poste de mai 2005 à mai 2007, puis de novembre 2007 à maintenant. Diplômé de l’UQAM en sexologie et de l’Université McGill en travail social, il a été employé dans de nombreuses organisations communautaires allosexuelles montréalaises, telles que la CJMLH et le REJAQ, en plus de travailler dans différents endroits du réseau de la santé.

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