I’m not getting hard enough for sex. Should I use lube ?

I am an Indian Guy. Recently i notice that i am not getting hard enough for sex and my dick is getting loose just before sex. What can i do to get myself hard enough for sex. Can i use lube, will that make me hard without any infection or complication or negative impact.


Hi Abhinav!
Thank you for contacting us. You’re not getting as hard as you’d like when you’re having sex and you’re asking what you could do to have a better erection, wondering if you could use lube.

You could definitely use lube, Abhinav ! That’s a great idea. I suggest that you use it alone first to see how it feels (and if you have any skin reactions), giving yourself time to explore new sensations. Please buy high-quality lube if you can afford it ! It will be a little more expensive but way more enjoyable. There are different types of lube. Here’s a fantastic article about it, written by my colleague June.

Besides being confortable while masturbating or during penetration, there are many factors that can have an incidence on your erection, as explained by my colleague Alexanne:

1. Physical factors (tobacco use, medication, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.) ;
2. Psychological factors (anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, etc.) ;
3. Social factors (bad sexual experience, grief, financial stress, etc.).

If you think one of these factors are having impact on your sex life these days, you can try exploring them. Your doctor or a sex therapist could be really helpful regarding some of these aspects. Don’t hesitate to take an appointment if you’re worried about your physical / sexual health.

If lubricant does not work out for you, you might think of other ways to make your sexuality more enjoyable, not only in a physical way but also when it comes to your mind and soul. How’s the communication between you and your partner.s ? Do you feel like you have enough space to talk about your desires, what you like and what you don’t, your insecurities, etc. ? Being open with your partner.s about what you feel is usually a good start to have better sex !

Hope this helps, Abhinav.
Please let us know if you have other questions. We are here for you !

Marie-Édith, B.A. sexology, for AlterHéros

About Marie-Édith Vigneau

Marie-Édith is currently studying social work at Université de Montréal. She has studied sexology at Université du Québec à Montréal (UQAM) and intervention with people living with intellectual disabilities and who are on the autism spectrum. She's a big fan of feminism, sexual health, social justice, music, espresso, craft beers, wool socks and pretending to be a good cook.

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