connection


I don’t feel grown up at age 28: I don’t know if I’m gay/bi/straight

I'm a 28-year-old, sexually entirely inexperienced man who has for the larger part of his life been trying to figure out his sexual identity. Since I was about 14 I've experienced frequent emotional attraction exclusively to the opposite sex but physical attraction only to the same sex. Physical attraction, however, also only to males I don't know and have never met, i.e. faceless, nameless fantasies I masturbate over through gay porn. But I've never been attracted to a male friend e.g. Instead I tense and cramp up when someone unexpectedly touches me. I've also never sought out random sexual encounters with men I don't know as it's merely the fantasy of it that intrigues me and I don't believe I could go through with it. As a result of my inexperience and confusion I feel very inferior to everyone and not grown up at all. When people ask me if I'm gay, straight or bi, I'd like to give them an honest answer but since I don't know myself I only get embarrassed. What would [you suggest?]