I can’t stop making lesbian jokes to my friend who hurt me

I've been knowing this girl for like.a year who's now my best friend.. I could tell when I first meet her that she was confused about something.. we got close to each other kissed all the time, touchyfeely or whatever.. later had a sexual experience that she stopped that same day.. I told her.. that no matter what I would always be a friend and now where best friends... she became more open to me about everything.. telling me I'm the first and only guy she's ever been with. but she's scared to be with me because she done wanna running our friendship... but that's not the point... come to find out her last two years of high school she had a girl friend.. yep she was a lesbian.. I was so confused as to the way we were together.. now it's none of that we just hang out with each other and I can't help but make lesbian jokes to her about it.. cuz I'm hurt.. I tell her it hurts.. because I was patient and in the end all I got was a best friend.. but I still feel the same way.. help me.

My friend still leads me on after she said she doesn’t like me that way

I wrote in earlier about how I like my friend that is a girl, and how she was giving mixed signals. You advised me to talk to her and I did. It sucked. Every reason I gave to her about leading me on, she shut down. I asked why would she say that she gets excited when I text her, and she said she does with all her friends. I asked why she would be afraid of losing me, and she said because I’m a friend. Every answer was “you’re my friend”. That was 2 months ago. Now we’re good but she’s confusing me again. We were discussing hugging which we’ve never done, and I asked how she would like me to. She said as tight and as close as I want, as long as it lasts forever. When I asked what she meant, she said we could stand there all day holding each other and nothing else would matter. Then one day we said what we liked about each other, and she told me I had a nice body but "not in a weird way", pretty eyes that she gets lost looking into, and I’m so sweet. What does she want from me?

I like feminine men and I’m not sure about my sexual and gender identity.

Since I was about ten, I've wished I was born male. In the last couple of years that desire has got very strong. In any sexual fantasies and when I masturbate I always pretend I'm a guy. I feel strongly attracted to extremely feminine men, cross-dressers and guys who wear makeup etc. Sometimes I pretend I'm a guy on chatrooms and flirt a little with girls. Because of all this I considered that I might be a lesbian, but I don't feel anywhere near the attraction towards girls as I do towards males. I never look at a girl and think they are hot or sexy. Straight and lesbian porn doesn't really do anything for me; only some of the gay and "shemale" stuff. I love men who look and act like women. All these signs seem to be really contradicting and I'm so confused about both my sexuality (though I think I am probably straight) and especially my gender identity. It's a big part of what's been making me very depressed these last few months.