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I get more excited about women, but would prefer to have a boyfriend

About a year ago, I began to be attracted to gay men, in looks and stereotypical personalities, and watching them "do stuff" turns me on. I became sort of obsessed with the gay community and started watching logo, reading gay books, etc, and standing up for gay rights whenever it's mentioned. I thought I was a little weird, but still considered myself straight, just something of a "fag-hag". But, lately, I've found myself more attracted to women than guys. When I think of women, I tend to get more excited than I do with men, but I like the idea of a bf more than a gf. I feel like a total hypocrite saying this, but I'm terrified of the thought that I might be a lesbian. I've always hidden my "gay obsession" from my dad because I know how he'd react, but my mom knows and she asked me once if I was a lesbian and I gave her a definite "no". I feel like I'd be betraying her if I decided I was. I'm very shy and have never had a boyfriend, crush, or male friend since I was 7. What do (...)


I’m wondering if I’m bi but I accept whoever I am!

Hey! For a few months now, I've been thinking a lot about my sexuality. I think I'm bi. But here's where I am a bit confused: I only fall in love with men, but I'd rather have sex with women (I'm still a virgin, but I sometimes fantasize about women). I'm still young and naive and I don't have much experience in love and sex (never had a boyfriend and I'm not really in the lookout for a relationship), but I feel bad. I don't want to objectify women, but that's how I feel: fall in love with a man, have sex with women. Am I a horrible person?! >.< I still haven't told ANYONE about this. But I really do want to talk to someone about my bisexuality. Is it just a phase? Is it wrong of me for feeling this way about men and women? Should tell anyone (I do have a bi male friend, but he never ever talks about it)? Anyway, I really don't know what to do or how to feel. Whatever the answer, I accept and love who I am. I still love to love, whatever the sex. Thank you! :)


I don’t feel grown up at age 28: I don’t know if I’m gay/bi/straight

I'm a 28-year-old, sexually entirely inexperienced man who has for the larger part of his life been trying to figure out his sexual identity. Since I was about 14 I've experienced frequent emotional attraction exclusively to the opposite sex but physical attraction only to the same sex. Physical attraction, however, also only to males I don't know and have never met, i.e. faceless, nameless fantasies I masturbate over through gay porn. But I've never been attracted to a male friend e.g. Instead I tense and cramp up when someone unexpectedly touches me. I've also never sought out random sexual encounters with men I don't know as it's merely the fantasy of it that intrigues me and I don't believe I could go through with it. As a result of my inexperience and confusion I feel very inferior to everyone and not grown up at all. When people ask me if I'm gay, straight or bi, I'd like to give them an honest answer but since I don't know myself I only get embarrassed. What would [you suggest?]



He reacted well when I came out, but I still don’t know if he likes me romantically

Hi, and first of all I must say that you helped me the first time! ;) But now I have another prob! Long story short, I told my male friend that I like him and that I feel something more,I was ready for the worst and I even told him "If you don't want to see me ever again I'll leave you forever,I understand how u feel" (I cried bc I was afraid), and he responded on this "I would be a complete douchebag if I'd do something like that! I am never going to leave you alone"...Honestly I was shocked, so I repeated "I'll give you some time to..." "No, no, I don't have to think about it, I said it"...After, he told me that its courageous from me to tell him how I feel and that I should tell more people coz its bad to keep all in me. Idk, I'm now more confused! I don't know what are his feelings,"never going to leave me?!" I think that he is afraid of relationships, and maybe he needs some time, but still... Please help me! And now when he knows the truth,I think I love him and need him even more.


I think I have sadism, gender, sexuality issues

I think I may be having gender, sexuality and sadism issues. Where gender is concerned, I'm biologically female. However, I completely loathe the idea of anyone perceiving me as such, but I know there's no way for me to be male and I don't want to be one. I'd prefer to be neither or both. And I'm not attracted to men or women- but I am really attracted to the idea of them being hurt, sexually or otherwise. Whenever I hear that some young, promising person has committed suicide, or a very loved child has been murdered, it really excites me, until I realize how disgusting that is and I don't know what to do. Part of the reason why I don't want to be perceived as female is because they are perceived as vulnerable- I like that on other people but not me. I don't think any of this is right. I have no romantic options like this, I would like them, but I just don't like other people. Am I sadistic + asexual or just messed up in the head? How can I accept it or change?


Am I androgynous or transsexual?

I’ve realized that I’m not stereotypically female, and don’t want to be. My vague masculinity and physical appearance have lead people to assuming I’m lesbian. I don’t feel a physical attraction to men or women, and know that I’m pansexual, but I don’t know whether I’m androgynous or not. I feel uncomfortable with my female body, but I’m not completely sure I should be male. I remember wanting to be a boy and believing I should’ve been as a kid. During high school, I felt reluctant to have the mistake the school made as labeling me male fixed. Recently, I’ve had the desire to bind my chest, and feel hesitant whenever I’m asked to identify my sex. When I have to, I want to say I’m male. I want to look masculine and have a flat chest, but not a penis. I don’t desire any kind of surgery beyond having my ovaries removed. I felt relieved learning of androgyny, but now I’m uncertain and scared. Am I really androgynous or actually transsexual?



Threeway without having sex with the other guy

Hi, I am 18 years old and have suddenly begun to really want a 3 way relationship. Am I crazy? I'm a guy and I want a guy and a girl. I want us all to love eachother and makeout and kiss...etc, but I wouldnt have sex with the guy. We could both be with the girl though. Sort of like in the movie "The Dreamers".


I didn’t come out to my dad – now I keep thinking of him in a sexual way

I'm a 21 year old female in a long term relationship with another woman. I have been 'out' for about 3 years and have never experienced prejudice because of my sexuality, although I know my mum doesn't really like it. I've never spoken to my dad about it but i know his happy as long as I am. But recently I've been having horrible thoughts.For example if im watching tv with a sex scene, i think of my dad. i am not attracted in anyway and get frustrated that I cant stop these thoughts. Its like my mind wants to think of him in a sexual way but i manage to distract myself although I feel angry and sick. I have no thoughts of him when I'm having sex with my partner and it happens when im not distracted or busy. the thoughts happen about 10-15 times a day and its driving me mad. I dont understand it and I want it to stop. My partner is aware and reassures me that I'm not mad, but i feel lik i am. why after 3 years of being out does this happen?


I don’t want to waste my teen years on the ‘wrong’ sex.

Hi, I am an unsure 15 year old. I have liked girls all throughout middle school, but suddenly I found myself becoming sexually attracted towards guys. It's something I wouldn't want, but would know if would have to face if it is real. I like girls, I find myself attracted emotionally and midly sexually, but to guys I have no emotional connection, and an almost overpowering sexual attraction. I am not sure if I am just fearful of the weird hormones during puberty, going through a weird phase with weird fantasies, or if I'm doomed to having only partially "whole" relations with either sex. I know I have a long time to decide, and I've been thinking about it for a long time, but the thoughts are conflicting and I'm still not sure. And I don't want to waste any part of my teenage years on a sex which I actually can't have a fulfilling relationship with.