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I think I have sadism, gender, sexuality issues

I think I may be having gender, sexuality and sadism issues. Where gender is concerned, I'm biologically female. However, I completely loathe the idea of anyone perceiving me as such, but I know there's no way for me to be male and I don't want to be one. I'd prefer to be neither or both. And I'm not attracted to men or women- but I am really attracted to the idea of them being hurt, sexually or otherwise. Whenever I hear that some young, promising person has committed suicide, or a very loved child has been murdered, it really excites me, until I realize how disgusting that is and I don't know what to do. Part of the reason why I don't want to be perceived as female is because they are perceived as vulnerable- I like that on other people but not me. I don't think any of this is right. I have no romantic options like this, I would like them, but I just don't like other people. Am I sadistic + asexual or just messed up in the head? How can I accept it or change?


I didn’t come out to my dad – now I keep thinking of him in a sexual way

I'm a 21 year old female in a long term relationship with another woman. I have been 'out' for about 3 years and have never experienced prejudice because of my sexuality, although I know my mum doesn't really like it. I've never spoken to my dad about it but i know his happy as long as I am. But recently I've been having horrible thoughts.For example if im watching tv with a sex scene, i think of my dad. i am not attracted in anyway and get frustrated that I cant stop these thoughts. Its like my mind wants to think of him in a sexual way but i manage to distract myself although I feel angry and sick. I have no thoughts of him when I'm having sex with my partner and it happens when im not distracted or busy. the thoughts happen about 10-15 times a day and its driving me mad. I dont understand it and I want it to stop. My partner is aware and reassures me that I'm not mad, but i feel lik i am. why after 3 years of being out does this happen?


I don’t like calling myself a lesbian, and I want to remove my breasts

What am I? I'm 23, female I have a girlfriend we have been together for 3 years that makes a lesbian right? but, i do not feel comfortable saying that i am a lesbian, i don't like when people points and says you're a lesbian because i don't really feel like a lesbian. It feels weird to say "i am a female" and i know for sure i don't want to be a man, people usually mistakes me for a boy but i have a big breast that makes me look like a woman, i would like to get chest surgery because I've always wanted to get rid of my boobs i don't like them at all. I love my vagina. I love, love women but I often have sexual dreams about men but i don't think i can be with one. I like the idea of looking like girlyboy or a boyishgirl but i don't know why I've always think that way i feel really confused i don't fit in,i don't like the idea of being a lesbian just because i was born a female and like females or being a FTM just because i want to get rid of my boobs and wanna look boyish, Please help meee!!



I felt guilty about masturbating. Now I keep thinking about penis!

I am Johnn and i just became 19 To start first i hope that you help as much as i can as i cannot afford counseling at the moment.As far as i can remember i liked girls since 8years old or maybe 7 something like that, i had gotten an erection with a woman in an advertising back then, however i felt guilty about it and i suppressed my horniness ,until the age of 12 which a friend told me about masturbation, i started masturbating thinking of women naturally,but then 3 things happened. At age 13 i tried women clothes and liked them,a little before 14 i tried anal masturbation and liked it,at 14 i wanted to do me anal a friend of mine which did not happen,all this things happened so fast and even now i can say i am not attracted physically to men but i like thinking of penis a lot!I've only fell in love with women in the past,but now that i think of penis,i get so excited that i cannot think of them anymore,what happened to me?i am also a person who does not feel comfortable around women? Help!


My friend has a girlfriend, denies she is a lesbian, and I have fallen for her.

Hi my name is Mitchelle , I've been a lesbian since childhood. Now, its got me confused, i had this officemate that is very pretty therefore i made friends to her since i am indeed infatuated to her. Only by knowing that she's a lesbian too, she introduced me to her girlfriend. But she would always deny that she is a lesbian too.She'd always say that she's a girl in front of me as kinda joke. We hang out together at the mall just the two of us. She shows her affection towards me. Or i may just misinterpret it. She may just be charming. And now i fell for her, knowing that she's a lesbian. I know that when you love gender doesn't matter. However its got me confused really since this is the first time i felt this for a lesbian as well. I've had lot of lesbian friends in the past pretty, beautiful , hot lesbians and others. But never gotten in fallen in love with 'em. Knowing that there the same as me. But now i really think I'm lost, falling in love with a lesbian as well. Please help.




Do my dreams mean I am bi?

I'm a 16 year old girl. I've always thought that i was 100% straight but now I'm not so sure. I keep having these dream occasionally about girls. It never goes a lot further than kissing but I'm still really confused. Its usually a girl that I think is really pretty or an upperclassman that I admire in a way. I'm really confused because my last dream was about a girl on my school track team[which is pretty small], and now when i go to practice, i see her and feel weird. I don't know what to say to her and all I can think about is the dream. It is like on a projector in my mind and plays continuously. The team is pretty close though, so its not like i can just avoid her. How should i handle this situation? Do these dreams mean that I'm bi? I'm also kind of scared because if I am i don't know how to deal with it if I somehow am... I don't think my family would really get it and I'd be wicked scared to tell my friends. Help Please! I'm not sure how to deal...


Is she slowly stealing my boyfriend’s attention from me?

So I've been been with my boyfriend for almost a year but I noticed that he started hanging out with a group of girls. One of the girls is one he used to like. At first I asked him what was up but he said nothing. After awhile i noticed that he hung out with a different girl in particular, if we are in class and he walks in, the first person he goes to is her.....then me. There was even a point where I wouldn't be able to find him and when I did, he'd be with them. I've tried not thinking anything about it but he just makes me wonder. I also think that the feelings are mutual because she always looks for him and today I was talking to a friend and I mentioned his name, she turned her head so fast, I could have sworn she got whiplash. I don't want to take his friends away from him but at the same time I want to know what the hell is up.