I've dealt with depression throughout my life, and think gender identity may be a probable cause. I have no memories of discomfort solely because of my genetic body and gender identity, but I've recently found myself facing severe depression while being faced with the concept. What makes me doubt GID, however is; a) a "transvestism fetish", & b) I got these strong feelings after being introduced to the reality of transsexualism, which makes me think it could be a learned thing. I don't feel like I am necessarily female inside, but I do have some wish and desire to have been born so. And despite the depression, consciously I would identify as mainly androgynous (mentally).
I'm at my wits end, and in my last bout of depression my mind crept toward thoughts of suicide. Could this be an identity issue or could it just be the idea itself that causes discomfort? I'm considering professional help, but I fear this is just sporadic, temporary, and doubt the validity of the possible issue.