identity


I get more excited about women, but would prefer to have a boyfriend

About a year ago, I began to be attracted to gay men, in looks and stereotypical personalities, and watching them "do stuff" turns me on. I became sort of obsessed with the gay community and started watching logo, reading gay books, etc, and standing up for gay rights whenever it's mentioned. I thought I was a little weird, but still considered myself straight, just something of a "fag-hag". But, lately, I've found myself more attracted to women than guys. When I think of women, I tend to get more excited than I do with men, but I like the idea of a bf more than a gf. I feel like a total hypocrite saying this, but I'm terrified of the thought that I might be a lesbian. I've always hidden my "gay obsession" from my dad because I know how he'd react, but my mom knows and she asked me once if I was a lesbian and I gave her a definite "no". I feel like I'd be betraying her if I decided I was. I'm very shy and have never had a boyfriend, crush, or male friend since I was 7. What do (...)


If I could pass, would my family support me if I decided I was transgender?

I've been crossdressing since 5th grade, in my moms lingerie and other clothes. It started out just out of curiosity, but I couldn't stop. I love it because I do feel feminine which doesn't scare me. I have to admit there is some arousal too. I've also fantasized about being a girl and having sexual relations with another male, but I"m still attracted to girls mostly. I recently became friends with a mtf transgender girl and I find myself speaking more in a feminine tone with her like we were best friends. Depression has really hit me lately. There are times where because of how i feel when i dress as a girl, its no longer just about love of crossdressing, but in truth I like looking in the mirror and it feels right. Am i just a transvestitecrossdresser or should I consider that I might be a woman inside. The last year I've been getting these strong feelings towards being a woman and it only bothers me because I don't know if I could pass and if anybody in my family would support me.


Can I be labeled a girl or a boy or something in between?

Lately I've wondered if I would be happier as a boy. I don't hate my female body parts, I don't mind my breasts, though I think they look better in other people. I don't feel "trapped in the wrong body", but it isn't right either. I also have trouble with my sexuality, I am not turned on by anything but male gay porn, and feminine men. I am not boyish at all, and like feminine clothes, all except skirts. Am I transgendered? Should I be a boy? I don't think I would be a "boy", as in the stereotypical type, I am much more like a girl in that way. But sometimes I wish I was a gay boy. I wish people would ask me: "Elisa, what would have happened if you were born a boy?" I only have female friends, I am comfortable around them, and not attracted to them, I hate having periods, and I envy boys in some ways, yet I can tell women have it better in others. Can I be labeled as "girl" or "boy"? Am I something in between? Help, please!



Depressed – is it my gender identity?

I've dealt with depression throughout my life, and think gender identity may be a probable cause. I have no memories of discomfort solely because of my genetic body and gender identity, but I've recently found myself facing severe depression while being faced with the concept. What makes me doubt GID, however is; a) a "transvestism fetish", & b) I got these strong feelings after being introduced to the reality of transsexualism, which makes me think it could be a learned thing. I don't feel like I am necessarily female inside, but I do have some wish and desire to have been born so. And despite the depression, consciously I would identify as mainly androgynous (mentally). I'm at my wits end, and in my last bout of depression my mind crept toward thoughts of suicide. Could this be an identity issue or could it just be the idea itself that causes discomfort? I'm considering professional help, but I fear this is just sporadic, temporary, and doubt the validity of the possible issue.


I don’t like calling myself a lesbian, and I want to remove my breasts

What am I? I'm 23, female I have a girlfriend we have been together for 3 years that makes a lesbian right? but, i do not feel comfortable saying that i am a lesbian, i don't like when people points and says you're a lesbian because i don't really feel like a lesbian. It feels weird to say "i am a female" and i know for sure i don't want to be a man, people usually mistakes me for a boy but i have a big breast that makes me look like a woman, i would like to get chest surgery because I've always wanted to get rid of my boobs i don't like them at all. I love my vagina. I love, love women but I often have sexual dreams about men but i don't think i can be with one. I like the idea of looking like girlyboy or a boyishgirl but i don't know why I've always think that way i feel really confused i don't fit in,i don't like the idea of being a lesbian just because i was born a female and like females or being a FTM just because i want to get rid of my boobs and wanna look boyish, Please help meee!!




What if someone wanted to do away with gender ?

While you have answered a question about castration, you did so in a leading manner that implies desire towards femininity. What if an individual did not want to become female, but wished to do away with gender and sexual identity altogether? Would the barriers of understanding by "successful" people make this impossible? I'd rather not have to jury rig a pair of hedge clippers, but I don't think I have any choice. I am a Montrealler, so if you can provide an individual reference, that would help greatly.


I don’t want to keep being everyone’s poster-boy

So, I have been really confused about what I want in terms of my gender identity. When I look in the mirror I don't want to see "handsome" or anything male about myself. I really enjoy being a guy and I know this because I couldn't imagine life without my penis. I'm guessing you can call me genderqueer or androgynous, but how do I know if this is what I really want? I've already taken steps to look more female. I do my eyebrows, shave my body, wear makeup, and now I'm letting my hair grow. I feel really confident but my ultimate goal would be to pass as an actual girl from the face. My mom and dad are not giving me their approval anytime soon - I've done so much to be everyone's "poster child", and now I just want to break free from the boy everyone thinks I am. Any advice?


My husband is trans – I feel like he was dishonest from the start

My husband of 29 years announced today that he wanted to start taking hormones. That he would grow small breasts and his voice would change a bit. That he would have to have his penis removed---as it would shrivel up because of the hormones. First of all---is that true? I am at a loss. I only knew that he liked on ocasion to wear women's shoes---when we got married. It has escalated from there. He has has several affairs---he says only mentally---but I am not certain. I have tried to give him the benefit of the doubt---but I am not comfortable with his recent announcement. I do not wish to live as a lesbian---first of all because I have wishes and desires that will not be met. Also if my job gets wind of this---they will look for anything possible to get rid of me. There has really been no discussion of this---he refuses. He says that it is totally his decision and he does not care what I have to say or think about it. I feel like he was not honest with me from the start...