man


I don’t feel grown up at age 28: I don’t know if I’m gay/bi/straight

I'm a 28-year-old, sexually entirely inexperienced man who has for the larger part of his life been trying to figure out his sexual identity. Since I was about 14 I've experienced frequent emotional attraction exclusively to the opposite sex but physical attraction only to the same sex. Physical attraction, however, also only to males I don't know and have never met, i.e. faceless, nameless fantasies I masturbate over through gay porn. But I've never been attracted to a male friend e.g. Instead I tense and cramp up when someone unexpectedly touches me. I've also never sought out random sexual encounters with men I don't know as it's merely the fantasy of it that intrigues me and I don't believe I could go through with it. As a result of my inexperience and confusion I feel very inferior to everyone and not grown up at all. When people ask me if I'm gay, straight or bi, I'd like to give them an honest answer but since I don't know myself I only get embarrassed. What would [you suggest?]


I’ve always taken pride in my androgyny – am I transgendered?

I'm a lesbian, as of a few years ago, and I've been relatively happy with that until fairly recently. I'm 16, and I feel the need to be male. But not really a masculine male, I'd like to still be able to be pretty. I've also found myself attracted to men again, as well as women, but a relationship with a man wouldn't feel equal or right in a female body. I've always taken pride in my androgyny, even as a child, I'd cross dress and go in public. Does this mean I'm transgendered, and if so, how long before I should tell my parents?


I’m sure I’m attracted to men, but i’m repulsed by the sight of a penis!

Hi, I'm really confused. I'm a male, 19 years of age and I have always been attracted to men. I am a virgin and I'm not sexually active. The thought/sight of a man's penis does not arouse me in fact, I feel repulsed by it. What does this mean? Am I actually straight? Who should I talk to about all this? Surely by 19 I should have figured this out so that I can get on with my life! I'm sick of all this uncertainty.



Gay/Transsexual porn turns me on but I’m sure I’m straight.

Hey thanks for the great service! I have a question that's been bugging me. I've always identified as straight, throughout my life I've only had sexual and emotional attractions/relationships with girls, never once been attracted by men, but in the past year or so I've found myself turned on by the actual act of gay/transsexual sex. I'm not sure whether it's just the raw 'sexiness' of it or whether I'm trying to repress something, but I just hope this isn't the beginning of me turning bi or gay, as I love my hetrosexuality too much to give it up. I feel like I have no control over what turns me on but I just don't like it and wish I didn't feel it. The idea of romance or any kind of intimate contact with a man in real life would do nothing for me, but seeing it in porn and wondering about the sensations is a real turn on for me. Any ideas about this? Wish I could just understand why these feelings happen, it's making me really upset. Thank you!



Repulsed by men since I was raped, I don’t know if I’m a lesbian

i was raped when i was 13 and i've adored girls since i was 14 always feeling repulsion for men, never attraction. I tried to act "normal" which also disgusted me, and i slept with 4 men to try and prove how normal i was. This whole act left me dead inside and i was utterly repulsed by me and my actions. I hated being gay and hid it from everyone. When i was twenty i met a man in a bar who i instantly fell for despite finding the male form repulsive. He is wonderful and tender and attentive and perfect, we have been married nearly 11 years. i have recently told him i am a lesbian though i have never had any girlfriends and tried to explain my past and the fact that basically i have lied about being straight. We still have sex and i adore him as a person and tend not to see him as a man, obviously everything is confusing, can you please help. He is very supportive and loving and is trying to understand, but i guess i just can't explain who i am very well. Am i a lesbian?



I’m jealous of

Could I be transgendered? Since I can remember I have fantasized (masturbated) about being a woman having sex with a man. I am extremely attracted to women but find it hard to be physical with them. Men do not turn me on, only when Im picturing myself as a woman. And even then I focus more on my visual aspects, smooth legs, breasts, nice curves and such, this is what really turns me on. Also if the man is dominating. I know that everything I have described is only sexual and that there is a lot more to being transgendered than simply having sexual fantasies. Sometimes I feel comfortable in my own skin and other times I get jealous when I see girls having girl talk and very much so want to be apart of their world. I can't quite say if I feel like a woman inside, at this point I really can't tell. Do my sexual fantasies mean that I may be transgendered?


My obsessive fear about turning gay ruined my sex drive

Alright, here goes. I'm 19 years old, and still in puberty. All my life I've been attracted solely and exclusively to women, this includes enjoying sex, falling in love, etc. Then, a couple of months ago, I've been struck with an obsessive fear about turning gay, though there was no proof or reason to think so. This threw me into a long period of anxiety and depression which completely killed my sex drive. Anyway, I've gone through a whole variety of attempts to check whether I was truly gay or not, including watching gay porn, and a couple of times, masturbating to it. Here's the thing: I hardly get hardly any arousal from homosexual images or thoughts. They are often even unpleasant and undesired, however, when I tried masturbating to them, it felt... a lot better than usual. I don't think I could ever fall in love with a guy, or be with one... What does this all mean? Could I be gay? Bisexual? Combined with the recent lack of sex drive, this is completely destroying me.


I reject the male label but am I transsexual?

I've been having many questions about my gender identity and I was hoping for your team's opinion (Obviously, I should talk to an actual therapist too). Even since the beginning of high school (I'm in my first year of college) I've become increasingly feminine, from growing my hair out, to wearing eyeliner and colorful nail polish, even wearing female clothing because I liked the look and feel in a non-erotic way, and I enjoy a more girlish nature. I've never hated my gender, and I always enjoyed boyish games at a young age. In fact it wasn't until the beginning of high school that I had showed signs. I did not know of transsexualism then, but I went through a period where I rejected the label male. I think that it's more than possible that I'm transsexual, but that I reject it because I'm deeply in love with a girl. Is it possible that I'm transsexual? If so, is it possible that I'm holding myself back for the reason stated and that it might be sorted out if I talk to her?